Sometimes it takes us longer than others to figure out what truly makes us, as individuals, happy with ourselves. It took me a little girl, 28 years, and a short lived heart felt moment to find my happiness. Dating my fair share of losers and no goods always consisted of inside the lines. I had questions that I dealt with on a day to day basis but was always to scared to take that chance because of the judgement of others. After having my daughter I realized that I no longer had to live to please anyone but her and myself. All parents say "I just don't want you to make the same mistakes I made" and which is a very true statement, but lets be realistic here, our children are going to make plenty of mistakes. Mistakes that make you feel that you're re-living your younger years. I have a lot of wishes for my daughter but my number one wish is for her to ALWAYS color outside the lines. If she has any remote feeling that she needs to be in a certain direction to find her true happiness, I will always support her to go in that very direction, except for drugs and shit...that's not okay.
Although I had to tell a few white lies for my chance to get messy with my crayolas...every minute was so well worth it. He showed me what I deserve, for the first time it was about me. The one phrase he used was "I'm on your time", that just did something for me. He doesn't call women; chics, bitches, girls...he calls us females. That, in itself, rose the respect bar up a few notches. He called me beautiful and let me know that I deserved to be called beautiful. His touch?? Powerful!! I still shake just thinking about him. It had been so long since a man had made me laugh and left a permanent smile on my face even after it was over. Unfortunately, our timing was off and it couldn't prosper into something more. It's very possible that I felt more, but I am completely okay with that because it was everything I needed. All of my questions have been answered. I am beyond thankful for that small yet huge lesson in art. I deserve happiness, even if that consist of stepping on a few toes.
I want my daughter to grow up with her eyes wide open and an open mind with.....REALITY.
two years later....... ;)
ReplyDeletelove you !